Wow, it’s Friday again already. Is Friday your last day of the week? Hopefully yes, giving you two full days to unwind, turn your attention to yourself, your family, your hobbies and whatever else inspires and nourishes you.
How was your week? Did it fly by or was it one full of struggles that had you wondering if Friday and the two too-short days of freedom that Saturday and Sunday brings would ever arrive. I’ve been thinking about how we approach the end-of-day on Fridays. What is your transition style from ‘the work’ to the ‘not working’ headspace? Let’s explore, shall we?
I have had a few modes over the years of managing, or not, the end of the working week, and I can sum them up in these 4 modes.
Mode 1 -Ending the week as the mum of young teenagers. As I walked out of the last session of the week, I would invariably get pulled almost immediately into the needs of a growing family. Chauffer, cook, referee and mum. Family needs can be a mighty pull (the parental guilt of a working mum didn’t help much). There often seemed not much choice but to swop hats immediately and get stuck into family life.
Our families are a blessing but how can they see the mental clearing up we need to do at the end of the working week. If we were self-employed in a trade, we might drive our van home and spend an hour cleaning up and putting away our tools, the family would see this and get used to this being a part of your working day. But they cannot see your thoughts obviously, or any of the actions you need to do to make a transition that is best for you.
Perhaps making a bit of physical ritual around your end of weekly shut down, one the family can see. Bring your reference books home or any items you use in the therapy room. Unpack them and put them away. Write up your notes or your journal. Get out of your work outfit and do some stretches (haven’t you been sitting all week). Get the family used to your routine and maybe, just maybe you’ll carve a little time to do your own mental wash up.
Mode 2 – Ending the week suffering slightly with empty nest syndrome. Being able to be much more social softens the experience of the surplus empty bedrooms. Indeed, there is nothing like that 2nd flush of freedom once the offspring have literally sprung off. There seems so much time initially to fit in all the things you always dreamed of doing if only you had more time. Ah, the freedom of meeting friends after work on a Friday. A little casual supper and a chance to catch up on the events of the week, the latest problems and catastrophes are de-rigueur amongst close friends, an opportunity to sound off about the issues and problems at work. It is the balm at the end of a tough week for most. But there is a snag – isn’t there always? As counsellors, unless we are spitting mad about some, quite frankly, mundane operational matter at work, the stationery cupboard’s never stocked with what you want, or the heating is always a little off what you’d like, you are professionally bound to keep tight-lipped about all of the issues and experiences you have had in your working week. So, you sit there, and like a sponge, you soak up the stresses of your dearly loved friends. Do you get quite the same destressing effect as they do from the evening? Quite possibly not.
Perhaps the way forward is to make sure you de-stress and ‘wash-up’ at the end of the week before you hit the social scene. Not being able to share our professional work with our friends is never going to change so we just need to suck that up and accept it. But we can and should offer ourselves the opportunity to close the week for ourselves, de-stress, vent or otherwise, to make sure our play time is just that, free time to play.
Mode 3 – A more homebody me – grateful to get home, kick off my shoes and chill. Ahhh but there is chilling, and there’s chilling. Maybe it’s a glass of wine and your favourite book. Blast on the music and throw yourself into the housework, or on goes the box set. These are all ways we can sometimes choose to relax, but one thing these gentle activities all have in common is an immediate dive into major distraction, sooo tempting after a busy week. To change the mental gear to neutral and let autopilot run the show for a bit seems a perfectly reasonable choice. But what if you duck out until bedtime, are you relying on your dreamtime to sort out the week for you? Well, maybe it works for some but just following the analogy of the person in trade putting away the tools of that trade, cleaning them, making notes of materials or replacements needed for the following week. Spending that time allows them to be truly free for the weekend.
Why not make a ritual of it, whenever you need to transition from working to not working, find your way, and be mindful that you need to take care of ‘you’ as you are your most important tool after all.
I hope you found my blog of interest and while you are here I also hope you will take a minute to explore our site. We are showcasing a new way of working for professionals such as yourself. It is new and innovative service, a light touch way of offering emotional support, something you are already fully qualified to do. It can introduce you to clients you may never otherwise get to meet. We are looking for early stage no obligation discussions and expressions of interest from professionals like you pending the nationwide launch. Sign up below to join our contact list so we can start talking.