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As counsellors, we sacrifice billons of neural connections to be with our clients during their most precious processes. Luckily, we probably have more than 100 trillion of those handy little mind maps going begging so we can probably afford to be as generous as we are with them. So why is it,  for our own sake, when we want to recall something, perhaps a quote,  or maybe the title of a song that stole our breath away for a passing moment, we can’t.  The answer is, of course, that we too often rely on memory.  And this can be a fools comfort at the best of times, like putting a knot in the corner of your hanky (a method that obviously harked back to a simpler age with fewer things to remember.) Back to the days when a knot in all four corners of your hanky meant you were CEO of Rolls-Royce, yes you were really busy.

I think as counsellors we tend more than most to partition up our grey matter. Like a grand old hotel our brains accommodate many rooms. A mental ballroom for the dance of concepts that is therapy, where the thoughts of our clients swirl with our own.  We retire alone to the mindful mezzanine floor to take an overview of the dance floor and to interpret all the dance steps thoughtfully and with care. And equally carefully, we record them ready for our next meeting or supervision. This is a phenomenal amount of brain capacity taken up with the work. Is it any wonder we forget, forget ourselves.

This is easily solved, I hear you say.  ‘Duh! Isn’t that why we jot down notes.’  But don’t we do that with the intention of finding these little notes later? So many of these little gems are lost in the margin of some well-read book or inexplicably lost like all the one socks ever mislaid, or notes that are washed back to whiter than white by a vigorous session in the washing machine nestled in the back pocket of our jeans. But these aren’t socks or just notes they are parts of you that I strongly suggest you would do well to protect.

HEY, WE ARE MORE THAN OUR WORK!  

Yes, I know you know that. And yes, I’m sorry for shouting, and also for repeating myself.  But we really need to practice capturing the random, vibrant, creative fleeting bits of ourselves that emerge in us every day, those precious jewels of thought and feeling that have bubbled up and surprised us,  rather than our thoughts being lost in the 30’ wash of life.

What can we forget about ourselves when we don’t make a note. Well, more than you imagine and surprisingly some of which can be on purpose. But mostly we can forget to remember ourselves. How can I help you remember yourself?

Let see – recollect your first lovely kiss. Pause a second and dig out that old memory (very old in my case)

Are you smiling?

You are? Good, that means you just became fully present to you and smiled in recognition to your oldest friend. Yes, I mean yourself.

Having those memories, thoughts and ideas brought to mind brings you back to you, now do you see how so very valuable they are?

What else might we record?

• Times when you have been especially brave.
• Current gripes/Past gripes and battles and how you dealt or intend to deal with them.
• Film or book characters you were drawn to and have vowed to deep dive into the why’s one day.
• A colour or picture that sparks joy – you know a great spot for that when you get around to decorate.
• Your favorite balsams for your soul – your comfort blankets when things are tough.
• Your aims for your future, your work, your life.

You are I believe quite vulnerable to forgetting yourself so if you want to keep that wonderful journey to you fresh and vibrant, to know yourself, improve yourself, sooth and bring joy to yourself remember one thing.

Buy a beautiful notebook, larger than pocket size and make a note……

P.S.  I won’t crush this idea with all the practical ways to organize your notebook. But a simple way begins by numbering the pages and creating an index page – you’ll probably be able to name a few sections to your notebook in the index immediately, but you’ll find there is plenty of room to add sections as it grows and evolves organically. Use some of the above section headings or your own. You’ll find it super easy to quickly pop the thought in the right place where you can easily find it again.

Thanks for reading my little jottings I hope they are helpful.

Best wishes and pogo sticks.

Lois